As an avid snowshoer, I often encounter exciting occurrences in the Mountains. Yesterday was quite eventful. As I was snowshoeing I encountered a man with shear terror in his eyes. He had been lost for hours, wading in snow oftentimes up to his chest. A snowboarder from southern California, he had lost himself in the rolling hills. The sun was going down. He had no food, no supplies, and no clue where he was located. Upon discovering my dog, screams announced his relief.

To all those who snowboard off the backside of anywhere.

Pack water and heat. And if your from LA heat refers to some fuel source for warmth, not a 9MM.

Machiavelli

Below are some of the television influences that have shaped me into a worse person.

1. Leave it to Beaver- I always tried to emulate Eddie. Did i miss the mark? I never was good at getting the point.

2. Night Rider- Since watching the show I have become accustomed to talking to my car. It never talks back. My shrink advises me to limit my conversation with the car to 2 minutes a day.

3. Our House- Ever watching the show I bark at people in public to "eat your oatmeal," "get your blood sugar checked often." I guess Wilford Brimley hasn't molded me into the ideal citizen. I don't have terrets, I just like to bark like Wilford.

4. Growing Pains- I want to name my future son Boner. Enough Said

Horoscope for the Day

If you spot a spotted owl at hooters - beware
your luck will change.

Recipie of the Month: Lumpy Marshmellow and Garlic Pudding

1 Cup Semi-sweet Chocolate-preferably English Chocoate
2Tb. Honey
3 Cups White granulated sugar
2 Cups Milk
4 Cloves Garlic or two teaspoons garlic powder
1 bag Jet-Puffed Jumbo Marshmellows

Mix all dry ingredients together at a slow pace.
Add milk.
Shake for ten minutes in a Kerr Jar.
Serve

"This recipie is sure to raise your spirits and lower your cholesterol." - Marsha Stewert

Horoscope according to Jim -

King Kong is your Father. Honestly, its true! He loves Flamingo shaped doorbells and always gives priority to grapes and trumpets. You should do the same, wench!

I see the world through one-way glass. I see laughter, hear happiness, and discover the world around me behind the cover of my one-way glass. Nobody can see me, hear me, or perceive my existence. That's the way I want it. Just to look out-that's the way I want it.


Mach

Overindulgences in sweating?

"I Wish I Knew How to Quit You!"

This weekend I went to see a fantastic movie and I discovered a new quote. My favorite quote. "I wish I knew how to quit you!" I've taken up shouting it at everything I overindulge in - Dr. Pepper, cheese, the space heater, procrastinating (I saw this movie on Saturday, I'm writing this post on Thursday), sweating and 'The Dave Chapelle Show' (on second thought F**K THAT, that s**t is funny!)

Why knowledge is not always a good thing: Just look at what it did to the dinosaurs.

Peace
MACHIAVELLI

Well, its been a day or so since I have written.

The code is the only update!

Baby Ferrata was fussy and needed her pacifier. Via turned to little nephew Ferrata and said, "Could you please find the pacifier for me?" Little nephew Ferrata immediately began a frantic search for Vin Diesel.

I did a lot of wheezing the juice this Festivus break!!!!! By the way, if you cook bean burritos in the 7-11 microwave....actually..lets just stop there. Don't cook bean burritos that you plan to eat in the 7-11 microwave.

VIVA FESTIVUS