Friday, January 23, 2009

It is a perfectly respectable name

So my friend recently got married and while she was considering what to change her name to, she ran by me the option of adding a middle initial, just a middle initial, it would not stand for anything. She said it in kind of a joking way and I didn’t think it would happen, but come this week it was official – she now has a J in her name which is why she is my friend, because she is awesome and adds the letter J to her name for no other reason than she wants it there. It got me thinking about if I changed my name, what I would change it to? All of the sudden the name popped into my head – are you ready – brace yourself – WILDEBEEST D. HUNTLEY. It is the most awesome name ever! My cabana boy and I decided that I could be called Wilde or W.D. for short and I would save the full effect for something special like getting married. “Do you Kevin Spacey take Wildebeest D. Huntley to be your lawfully wedded wife?” I like the sound of that.

Friday, January 16, 2009

My Puff is Having Issues

So my new car, "The Puff," is having issues. Someone manhandled it (not me, I use my words to hurt things) and so it needed a new oil pan. I took it to my usual mechanic and I found out that - YAY! - they have a loaner car so I wouldn't be stuck trying to find a ride to and from the mechanic, to and from work, to and from the cheese factory, and to and from Hoshie's anger management class.

So I drop off my car and the mechanic hands me the key and says, "it's the green one." I walk outside and I am confronted with what I lovingly started referring to as "The Troll." This car was the most hideous shade of green with an interior that looked like a science experiment (I'm sure I contracted some kind of butt fungus from sitting in it) and a dashboard that is held on by duct tape. It also had a HUGE magnetic sign on the side that said, "Free loaner car," which technically it wasn't because they keep that thing on empty so you must put gas in it to drive it. I didn't want to feed it, it might follow me home!

I was so glad to get my puff back, I literally kissed it. I think that is the genius of "The Troll." It makes you look forward to forking out money to get your car back.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Holidays and the Stomach Flu

So the holidays were busy what with hanging out with Squidgy and getting the stomach flu. Some things of note: my nephew once again impressed with his ability to HATE EVERY GIFT HE WAS GIVEN - I'm giving him coal next year and he can just suck it. My niece gave me relationship advice which I ignored because I am older and wiser and 90% of her boyfriends have had altercations with the law. Squidgy learned that classic holiday lesson that the cat does not like to be squeezed. Hoshie demonstrated that he could live on nothing but holiday spirit as he was so exited for presents we could not get him to eat for two days. And finally - Squidgy learned the wrong way to shave her legs.