Hello, its me, Miller. Contrary to popular belief, I am not AWOL, nor missing, nor dead. What am I thinking? Contrary to popular belief!!! hahahah. What I should say is, contrary to our consitent 5 people reading base, I am still alive and chirping. Via is completely right. I am a poo face. I didnt show up to print her negs. I sorry, Via.
I'm currently experiencing a creative mental block. On the bright side, like a dam, the block will one day break and I'll have a creative explosion...so everyone..watch out. I heard a very interesting question on the radio today...So..without further adeu, I pass the question on to you..

Q: Why is evaporated milk a liquid?

Not too shabby of a question. Sure to incite even the most inpenetrable minds!!

Miller-
Peace

Silent Gory Gory Hill

So I went to see "Silent Hill" yesterday with my friend Rammy and my stepmom. My stepmom and I love scary movies and we always go see them together, unless any of our wonderful friends like Rammy want to come along. However, going with other people means that I have to endure a whole lotta teasing. The thing is, I am the easiest person in the world to scare. The smallest things freak me out - the back of the tupperware cupboard, handlebar mustaches, Ron Popeil - imagine running into him in a dark alley. The threat of GLH formula 9 alone makes me almost pee my pants. In order to be able to watch scary movies and then sleep at night, I cover my eyes during the scary parts or if I am at home alone I fast forward through them (nothing is scary at super fast speeds, except Richard Simmons). So we go to Silent Hill. I am all excited, ready to be scared by the sound of scary things. Turns out I didn't have to cover my eyes a bunch of times due to fear, just twice because I have a sensitive stomach. By the end of the movie I was utterly confused and tad queasy, but not scared.

Getting to Know You

So my brother sent me one of those getting to know you emails. The ones where you answer random, innocuous questions and then email them back to the source and however many friends that you want knowing the last time you cried. I normally relish these emails because they give me a chance to completely B.S., however this time I was out B.S.ed by my brother. His answers were really funny and I knew that mine would look like a sad attempt to emulate him - my funnier, better looking brother. As a matter of principle I could not send actual answers. So I came up with this (read only the answers, it makes more sense):

1. FIRST NAME? ever notice how only cats are named Sassy
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? why should only cats be named that
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? is it because cats can sleep whenever they want
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I'm sleepy
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? my office smells like cheese
6. KIDS? I want a doughnut
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? with cheese on it
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? and Vegemite
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? and a space heater
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? from the D.I.
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? why must everything you buy at the D.I. smell like the D.I.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? like dust and b.o.
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM! OFF? I once found a dresser there that did not smell like D.I.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? it smelled like poop
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? old diaper poop
16. SHOE SIZE? I bought it anyway
17. RED OR PINK? poop smell gets a bad rap
18. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOUR SELF? feta cheese smells much worse
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my office smells like cheese
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? not feta cheese
21. WHAT PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? mozzarella
22. LAST THING YOU ATE? with a trace of pickles
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? and pimento loaf
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I prefer pumpkin bread
25. FAVORITE SMELL? with chocolate chips
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? and peppercorns
27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? and salt sprinkled lightly on the top
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? like hard specks of dandruff
29. FAVORITE DRINK? on the head of a bald man using self-tanning cream
30. FAVORITE SPORT? orange is the new tan
31. EYE COLOR? irrelevant is the new relevant
32. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? toenails are the new fingernails
33. FAVORITE FOOD? I once saw toenails as thick as hockey pucks
34. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? same color too
35. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? they made me dry heave
36. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? and have nightmares
37. SUMMER OR WINTER? about Hobbits
38. HUGS OR KISSES? with hockey puck toenails
39. FAVORITE DESSERT? Gandalf insists on their getting manicures
40. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? before returning the ring of power
41. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? he says that they don't want to end up like Sauron
42. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? his hockey pucks eventually became curling stones
43. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? which smelled like feta
44. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? the stench killed off most of the Ents
45. FAVORITE SOUNDS? that and the logging industry
46. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? I like those fake logs that light up when you plug them in
47. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? no fire hazard
48. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? unless the cord has a short
49. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? then you're screwed

Don't ask to read his. I deleted it.

Preemptive Strike

So Miller is back and I feel bad for calling him a poop because he has a legitimate excuse for being gone (it doesn't involve wookies or ewoks). I have the habit of doing what I call "preemptive strikes". I picked this phrase up from the government, but when they use it, it means being all imperialistic, when I use it, it means I've done something stupid. Hum, actually they both sound like the same meaning to me. My point is I took over the blog when Miller disappeared and now that he is back he is welcome to once again grace The Black Project with his gorgeous photos and sparkling wit. Sorry Miller, I am a giant PPPPPPOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP!

So Much Fun!

So Miller has gone AWOL. It is now up to me to fill The Black Project with content. The reason we started the blog together is because there is only enough content inside my head to allow for an instruction manual on the making of sea monkeys (add water - done). Beyond that I run into problems. Any day now my retention capacity will be so bad that I'm going to start tattooing things I have to remember on my arms - like that guy on Memento. So if you run into some poor girl on the street with "Buy Tampons" in permanent ink on her arm, please do not mock, try to remember that she is burdened with sailing this ship alone.

Forgotten in his sugar-induced haze.

So Miller has been teaching me to develop my film and I have greatly appreciated his help. Last night he was supposed to help me with the printing process. I gave up a night of TV watching (which pained me greatly) and went to meet him, thing is - he never showed up. He is a giant piece of POOP! PPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPP! Unless he has a good excuse, like he was mistaken for a wookie and assaulted by ewoks.

The Chronicles of My Obsession or as I like to call it - The Chronicles of Nardia. Not because it makes sense, but because I like to say it - that and BOOTY CHA!

So I have an obsession, an obsession with collecting all unwanted items. The only criteria I have for these items is that they should be old, cheap and not smell like they have been crop-dusted. Other than that I am flexible. Anyone who knows me, knows I am the go to gal when they want to rid their homes of old unwanted items. They know that I will treasure these items and that they will bring me approximately two and a half days of joy, after which I will begin the search for new joy. I used to search the thrift stores for joy, until they became greedy. DAMN THEM AND THEIR COLLECTIBLES SECTION. Since when did a dinged-up dresser that smells like pee qualify as a collectible? Or for that matter any record by Glen Campbell. No offense to Glen but 80% of every thrift store's records are by him - him or that Humperdink guy. Anyhoo, here are some pictures of my latest acquisitions. What I need two old fridges for, I have no idea, but they fit the criteria.