Can't think - must revel in his muffininess

I am in a total fog. I can't even think. I shared a tangerine with my secret crush and it was, quite possibly, the best thing that has happened to me so far this year. I'm pretty sure my crush would freak out if he knew how much I cherished sharing fruity goodness with him. He is, after all, of a very kind and sharing nature (thus his appeal) and shares most of his food with those around the workplace. I just get really really giddy whenever I am around him. Giddy and stupid cuz my mind tends to blank and I look as if I were the poor intern who forgot to lock up Paula Abdul's meds. Thus incurring the wrath of Simon Cowell, who I am sure would suffocate me in one of his shrink-to-fit tees. What was I saying? Oh yeah, tangerines with my crush. Best snack ever!

New year ... more of the same

I used to wax poetic about how fantastic the new year would be. I had all of these ideas about how this year would be different from last. I would finally learn to take pictures that were as nice as those taken by hyperactive four year olds. I would learn to make food that did not have the consistency of burnt evil. I would not forget everything I learned within three minutes of learning it.

All of these resolutions seem doable, but by the end of every year I am still in the same place that I was at the beginning - blurring, burning and blanking. I decided this year, in order to same myself from feelings of failure, I WILL NOT make any resolutions or hold onto any delusions of future competence. I will not only embrace my ability to completely bungle all endeavors. I will celebrate my ineptitude. 2007 is going to rock!