He is so angry because his giant brain hurts his head

So my cute, angry Hoshie is brilliant. Which we all knew, but a national standardized test just confirmed it for the rest of humanity. Hosh scored in the top tenth percentile in the nation in some test they give kids to arbitrarily compare them against each other. I am not a fan of standardized testing, what with built in biases and such, but I am a huge fan of my Hoshie and his giant angry brain.

In other news, my new turntable/LP converter arrived yesterday and I have been creating digital versions of my beloved albums. I now have Leonard Nimoy singing “Proud Mary” on my iPod.

I almost died!

So I've been listening to David Sedaris read his latest book at night. I keep hoping that, through some kind of osmosis, I will wake up funnier. Hasn't really worked that much so far. I still only get unintentional laughs like when my thumb udders faced the wrong direction and I was told that gravity will not allow you to milk up. It was all part of a milking demonstration in case you were thinking something sick - you perv! Anyhoo, I'm listening to David Sedaris with my headphones on and I fall asleep only to wake up a few hours later, barely able to breath because the frakin cord is wrapped around my neck! Totally freaked me out! Like that time I ate some really old granola. I could have died! I would like to say that I learned my lesson, but no, I don't have the restraint to learn lessons or figure out that udders normally face towards the ground not the sky, because then it would be like a milk fountain and that would be AWESOME!

New Name - New Title

So along with changing my name I am giving myself an arbitrary title - Dean of Awesomeness or Dean of the College of Awesomeness if you want to be formal. What do you think of my new business card?