Thursday, June 19, 2008

Most Fun Ever!


Among some of the old things I hoard are dresses. I found a dress last summer at an antique shop and thanks to the events of this past weekend, I was able to wear it and I looked hot! Normally I would say I looked semi presentable, but one of my friends told me that I looked so good, he would consider going straight for me. Best compliment ever. I think that earned me a hot. What was this fabulous event? It was the annual HRC gala and it was probably some of the most fun I have ever had in my life and it was for an excellent cause so win win.
The night started with me drinking on an empty stomach and getting a little buzzed (one glass of wine - light weight). I was wearing heels and I was so worried that I was going to teeter into the pool, but I didn't. I just ended up squealing loudly when I saw they were auctioning off scooters. I wanted me one so bad. I have often pictured myself riding a scooter down the road, the wind drying my moist pits. Ahhhhhh! Anyhoo, the buzz wore off in time for dinner where I stuffed myself - BIG TIME! It was seriously some of the best food I have ever eaten. I am still thinking about it as I type this. I had a plate of delicious sauteed vegetables and about five desserts.
After dinner my friend made good on his promise to dance with me and I totally spazzed out on the dance floor. At one point I karate chopped some poor women on the head. I forgot my rule about leaving a good five feet of open space around me so as to avoid any collateral damage. I apologized profusely, but she still scuzzed me and stomped away. Oops.
I ended the night riding back to my car with some friends (I shuttled in). We discussed music and I butchered the words to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing." I was a tad embarrassed until one of my fellow carpoolers destroyed Abba's "Waterloo." Suddenly, I didn't feel an urge to write a long apologetic e-mail to Steve Perry for ruining his awesome anthem.

Monday, June 09, 2008

She's here and she's operating on a completely different time-zone!

Yes my sweet Squidgy is in town and I am soooooo happy and sleep deprived. Squidgy is on her home time and every morning around 6:00 a.m., she pounds on my door. It's her way of saying, "wake up Auntie Via, my mother has checked out as parent and you must entertain me." I love my Squidgy, but I also love sleep. Her favorite thing to play with me is hair dresser, this game consists of her pulling my hair until it falls out in chunks. She also loves to mimic everything I say. This will come in handy when I teach her some choice phrases to repeat to my sister like; "I need to make a beer run." or "You smell like armpit, mom." or "I'm voting Democrat." The last phrase will certainly push my sister over the edge as she has signed away her family's soul to Mitt Romney.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Countdown to Squidgy!



So there are a little over 24 hours before my cute Squidgy is here to visit. I am so excited to see her, especially now that she has grown out of her crap-smearing phase. No longer are my endless articles of vintage shizz in danger of being tainted by toddler pooh. All I will have to worry about is her tinkling on the books that litter my floor if her mom tries to have her use the evil potty. I think she developed a fear of the toilet when her mom would yell, "NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" as she washed her binky in the bowl. The toilet became bad, like strangers and mullets after Labor Day. It doesn't bother me that she stays in diapers a little longer, but then I am not her parent and I don't have to change her. In fact, I disappear when the room suddenly starts to stink. It is wonderful being an aunt.