Ouch!

So usually I mostly write about my cute, angry Hoshie, only he isn’t the only angry child in my family. The other day I was watching my brother’s kids because every other responsible person on the planet was busy, you know, holidays and such. He has an adorable little five year old with an abnormally large head who, like Hoshie, has a bit of a temper (I don’t think the large head is the cause, but I could be wrong).

So I decide to play Star Wars with him because he enjoys showing off his light saber skills. We are in the middle of our duel and during one of his “spin flourishes” I tap him on the bum with my light saber (honestly it was only a tap, I don’t like to hurt people). Well you would have thought that I had just cracked him on his funny bone because the kid went ballistic and started wailing on me. It was horrible! I was screaming while he was hitting me as hard as he could. I finally got him to stop and I realized that from now on all activities with him would involve anything that could not be used as a weapon, so basically we can have staring contests until he learns to head-butt me with his eyes.

I keep doing this!

So I left my holiday shopping TO THE LAST MINUTE and since I love to shop online, my shizz may not come in time. CRAPOLA! I would shop the traditional way but crowds give me a rash. In my defense I've been very busy over-accesorizing with Squidgy. She and her Auntie Via love bling - lots and lots of bling. I have been know to rival Mr. T with my bling especially since my friend gave me a "Bedazzler." I would so bedazzle my pillow if it didn't mean that I would wake up with my head resembling a golf ball.

I guess all I can do for now is hope that stuff is getting rushed for the holidays and hand out a bunch of IOUs. Tacky, I know, but coming from a woman covered in head to toe rhinestones, it is probably expected.

Top Three Reasons Via is a Bad Aunt

1. Teaches that deserts are a fine substitute for actual meals that might involve veggies or some such nutritious garbage.
2. Teaches that one doesn't need paper to draw - a hand or face will do nicely in a pinch (preferably not your own).
3. Teaches fun words like butt, fart and democrat.

I will come up with more as I spend more time with my cute Squidgy.