Thursday, September 11, 2008

I'm thinking of making him a bubble-wrap suit

So my step-dad has always been a tad accident prone. For the most part it is only himself that he injures, but that is only because we have learned to avoid him when he breaks out the tools or any sharp or hard or metal or wood or stone or very solid cheese object. We learned this through some unfortunate accidents.

When we were little, my step-dad bought a puppy for us (he knew exactly how to buy our love) and he and my brother set out to build a doghouse. I was inside watching my stories (Nellie Oleson was such a BITCH) and all of the sudden my brother runs in screaming, clutching his eye. Turns out that my step-dad pulled a nail out of a board and accidentally hammered my brother's eye socket in the process. Fortunately my brother was not blinded and we now laugh about this incident and the time I had severe OCD. A few years later my step-dad accidentally removed part of my mother's finger in a freak farm machinery accident.

His accidents through the years involved things as random as sheep, an alpine slide, a riding lawnmower (he rode it off the top tier of our lawn) and most recently an ottoman. Thanks to said ottoman, he now is recovering from a broken hip in a care facility.

As his family, we try our hardest to keep him safe, however we can only do so much. Being the proactive person that I am, I have decided to try and talk him into being enclosed in a giant bubble. The point being not to make him feel like a hampster, but rather to keep him from further harm, because I care and because it would give me something to brag about.

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