No Lactose for You!

So my cute, pale, dairy-obsessed Hoshie has been put on a strict non-dairy diet by his pediatrician due to some stomach issues. This diet would be doable if we were not talking about Hoshie. I am pretty sure that instead of 90% water that kid is made up of 90% cow juice, 8% Kraft American cheese slices, and 2% anger (for good measure). Now my poor sister, who is very tender hearted, has to listen to her lactose craving lad wail as if hope itself had shriveled up and died in Pandora's Box. Hopefully the doctor will discover that all things cow are not the cause of Hoshie's illness and Hosh can once again go through a gallon a day.