Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I can still smell the cat urine

So I've been looking into buying a house. What's that you say? You thought I was going to live my parents forever. That is still a possibility until the papers are signed. Anyway, I started looking at properties yesterday and can I just say that I now know why you can sometimes find cheap homes in nice neighborhoods, two words - cat urine.

The first house I looked at did not involve cat urine, just lots of duck tape, a bouncy floor (is a floor supposed to do that?) and bedrooms the size of most closets. On the upside, the vintage tile on the bathroom floor was awesome as were the strange submarine lights on either side of the vanity.

The second house may have had something living in the basement, but both the realtor and I were too scared to venture beyond the disaster area that once passed for a kitchen. By the by if you are looking for the number for a Keith in Vegas - I can hook you up - it made for some nice graffiti.

The last house welcomed us with the overpowering smell of sun-baked cat urine. I had to cover my face or I would have yakked. The carpet had caked in urine spots all over it. I should have taken pictures because I am sure they would have rivaled the carpet from a picture I found while real estate surfing of what looked like a crime scene. BIG GIANT GLOBS OF YELLOW! In the bathroom, the tub decided that it would not be outdone by litter box carpet and had an almost black residue that I didn't take a closer look at because I am sure it was alive. I didn't pay much attention to the kitchen because I was running away from the tub. The basement had fewer carpet stains and a sloping, varying height ceiling. You would always have to be on your guard or you would come face to face with low hanging cement slab. Fun for April Fools but rather unnecessary the rest of the year.

Needless to say I am going to keep looking. The first house was really in the best shape out of the bunch, but it was way to small to hold all my shizz.

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