While creating music for our techno polka Tolkien tribute band "Old Toby's Pipeweed." I discovered the awesome power of the boilordion, a power that could be used for good or evil. My initial use of the boilordion was for good, I wanted to introduce the world to my righteous Tolkien jams. Once I found out the terrible side effects however, I thought of all the people I could inflict boils upon without remorse. Another boilordion problem arose with the recording of our first album " You Can Feel the Bass Thump all the Way to the Shire", all the band members broke out in boils, that is until Via Ferratta began playing the ice piccolo. The melodious sounds of her ice piccolo lanced the boils until they were merely warts. Warts I can live with. The lesson to be learned from this - only play the boilordion along with the ice piccolo.