Meaty Thighs

So my meaty thighs will no longer fit in my skinny pants and now I am either going to have to stop inhaling Snickers bars or get my meaty thighs to a gym. This happens every year when my cold weather weight gain kicks in and suddenly my pants are tight. Usually not a big deal unless I am in corduroy. However, take pants that are already tight and yeah – I can’t get them past my knees! I need a treadmill or elliptical so I can keep up with the exercise I get in the summer when the weather is nice and I can go outside and run and skip in the sun until Hoshie jumps out from behind a rock and whacks me with a stick.

Speaking of Hoshie, I am taking him, Yert and my meaty thighs to the movies this weekend. It was Hoshie’s turn to pick and he picked High School Musical 3. Thanks Hosh! Apparently his hatred of all things non-videogame related does not extend to singing that makes your ears bleed. I should wear my skinny pants so that the pain of having my organs squished distracts me from the pain of my eardrums exploding.

Some advice for men

Guys, if you decide you want to talk to me, come up to me and say hi. Don't shout at me from your car while I am walking by myself through a parking lot. It scares the crap out of me. Nuff said.

So Long, Sweet Ghetto Bug!

So last week, I sold my sweet Ghetto Bug. It was time, but it was really hard and I cried, like a big giant baby. The Ghetto Bug and I had some awesome times - off-roading, going on canoe trips, that time I got lost in the suburbs - such good memories. It is true that the Ghetto Bug frustrated me at times, but she truly was a great car. She rarely broke down, most of her issues were cosmetic and for those I developed work-arounds. After all, who really needs all their radio buttons to work? I had to sell the Ghetto Bug for cheaper than I would have liked, but I figured the next person would probably want to fix the flaws I learned to live with and even brag about. It became this funny thing when I would give people rides and they would notice the duck tape and would say, "I can totally top that, check out the paper clip I use to roll up and down my window." Good times! So next time you are in a toasting mood, say an extra one for the Ghetto Bug, she has earned it.

That One!

So I'm watching the debate last night and it is the usual he did this and he did that and he chose a VP who shoots things from a helicopter, when suddenly something caught my attention. In the midst of all the finger-pointing, John McCain calls Barack Obama - "that one." I immediately get all excited because I know the next time someone asks who I am voting for, I can reply, "that one."

The next day I am trying my best to get someone to ask me who I am voting for (not an easy task given the state I live in will be red until Paris Hilton and three of her cronies usher in the apocalypse) when my boss suddenly walks up to me and hands me a small blue piece of paper with the Obama campaign symbol and the words "Thatone 08" printed on the front. I immediately break out the button maker and start making oodles of buttons so that I no longer have to wait for someone to ask me who I support, I can proudly support "that one" on my personage every day.

Same as my sister

Take the Quiz here!

Golimar!

I love this video so much and I get this song stuck in my head for days. Killa! Killa!

I am officially a renter people!

So I have joined the ranks of those who rent and I am EXTREMELY excited about it. Before you get too excited for me, I should confess that what I am renting is a storage shed and unfortunately the rules state very clearly that you are not allowed to live in the storage shed. My heart sank upon learning this but I also knew that I would get tired of peeing in a bucket. I will not get tired of knowing that I have a place where all the so called junk I love will have a safe home, away from the threats of my mother who finds stinky old chairs repugnant. She cannot see the potential, but I can. With some love and a strong dose of Fabreeze, those chairs will only mildly smell of old cheese and goat.

In addition to being able to store my stinky chairs, I will also be able to acquire more. YAY! I have hated having to turn down perfectly good rejects from my friends and random strangers who leave stuff on their lawns with signs that say "Free" and "Please take this, it smells like feet." That stuff can now go to my storage shed, until I fill that to capacity, but hopefully by then I can afford a nice apartment with lots of room and carpet stench that will overpower the smell coming from my stuff.