You Know You Want Me

Wanted: One job for recent MLS graduate. It is true the adjective used to describe me most is weird, but that was from blind dates and they don't count. Men who fill 90% of their free time with Skyrim are not allowed to judge. I'm just going to put it out there, I think I am awesome. I once accidentally lit myself on fire while cooking and did I panic? NO!!! I threw off my robe, stomped out that blaze, and then ran to the bathroom to make sure I still had my eyebrows. It is that kind of on the fly, epic problem solving that I can bring to a work place. I would also like to mention that I worked like a boss for seven years in my last position (I worked for the Provost of local public university - FTE 30,000) and I loved it. Yes I left, but that is because I lived most of my life within the same 60 miles. I had this overwhelming desire to see what life was like outside those 60 miles so I moved across the country leaving in my wake a weird vacuum, from which Utah, thanks to its liquor laws, soon filled. I now live in the D.C. area and I love it here. The only problem is, unlike Utah, there is fierce competition for jobs. Being from a smaller (compared to D.C.) town, I am feeling a little lost as to how to best market myself in order to obtain gainful employment. I am thinking of maybe walking around the Library of Congress with a sandwich board that reads, "I am so good with people. I will work my tookus off. I am not lactose intolerant." It might work or a picture of sandwich board me might end up on Reddit with comments that include "I haz desperation."