Would embracing my inner tree-hugger mean I could never again shave my pits?

So one of my friends recently gave me his old The Whole Earth Catalog. He knows that I love all things old and free, tack onto that being bound in book form and I'm like Hoshie first discovering the joys of electronic friends. I started to look through the catalog page by page, marveling at all the information available for those who enjoy compost toilets and Silent Running when I came across an ad for a hot tub that included a picture of a topless woman with extremely hairy armpits. I love tubbin' as much as the next person, I just wouldn't feel that comfortable taking a soak topless with Sam Donaldson's toupee under each arm. I know - I'm such a hairless prude.

So I havent posted anything for a while, to this I say, I'm sorry. I want to recount a funny story which occured at the local Macey's supermarket. So the other night I make a light jaunt to the store for some necessities and other food items. I am a huge glutton for Macey's doughnuts because they are always fresh and soft and ohhhhhhhh soooooooooo GOOEY! Stating that, naturally one or two never quenches the desire, so i got 5! Anyways, i put them in the translucent bags (designed to deter the ubiquitous "false doughnut quantity claimers"). So at the check-out, the girl grabs my translucent bag and asks me how many doughnuts were in the bag. I shrugged in disbelief, yet she remained motionless, and glossy-eyed...awaiting my count. Finally, in annoyance, she looked down at the bag and actually counted the bloody doughnuts herself. Way to go Macey's girl. Hooked on Math sure the hell worked for her! Seeing the doughnuts served as math manipulatives, her task of counting the endless doughnuts was successful.

WAY TO GO MACEYS IN ALWAYS HIRING THE MOST APT AND PROFESSIONAL CHECK GIRLS!!!

Separated at Birth






















So I see a resemblance. Looks like Jade comes from pure evil - pure, delusional evil.

NOT MORE CLOTHES!

So this weekend we celebrated my nephew Hoshie's sixth birthday and I was confronted with the daunting task of trying to find a gift for him. My other nephews love legos, action figures and the occasional sequined bag - not Hoshie. His gift must require a power source and lead to carpal tunnel. Video games are the only thing he will play. On the occasions when he is banned from video games, you can find him running around at a frantic pace, stabbing and slashing the air with a stick as if the air were to blame for him being torn from his electronic crack. I refuse to feed his video game addiction and so for his birthday I bought him clothes (a stack of kindling while enjoyable to Hoshie would have made me look cheap). When it came time to open my gift, he ripped through the tissue paper, grabbed the clothes and then promptly threw them on the ground with a whine about how clothes are the worst gift ever. I thought deodorant was the worst gift ever, but I stand corrected. I think as a result of my horrible gift, that I have scarred him for life. I can see the adult Hoshie now, sitting in a permanent groove on his sofa shouting, "CLOTHES, WHO WANTS CLOTHES FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY!" After which he bends down and sniffs Warioworld up his nose.

May 16, 2006 9:39 am US/Mountain

Provo Law Prohibits Snow Cone Sales Until June 1
Temperatures are in the mid-80s, but don't look for a refreshing shave-ice treat in Provo until next month.

The city prohibits its sale before June 1.

Taylor Headman, 14, hoped to open her shave-ice stand early this year for extra money but then discovered the ordinance.

"It's kind of a dumb law, I think," said Taylor, who wanted to open a stand in time to raise money for an upcoming class trip.

Her father, Justin, a Provo firefighter, and others called this spring to complain about the ordinance.

Mayor Lewis Billings told the council about the issue at a recent meeting.

"I thought it was stupid," Billing said. "Why do we care if they sell (shave ice) before June 1?"

Councilwoman Cindy Clark, who with other city officials did not know why June 1 was made the start of the shave-ice season, said, "I think by next year we need to change that law."

Normal procedure would start with a hearing of the Planning Commission, which would then recommend an amendment to the City Council.

The mayor doesn't want to wait that long.

"Since we feel like there is pending legislation on shaved ice, we're not going to enforce the ordinance," Billings said.

Hawaii is the birthplace of shave ice, often incorrectly called "shaved ice" and sometimes mistaken for snow cones.

A snow cone is made of ice ground into chunks that don't hold the syrup, which pools in the bottom of the paper cone, the shave-ice aficionados say. Shave ice is shaved off a big block into a powder or small flakes that is easier to eat and absorbs the syrup, they say.

"It's like snow, so you can eat it instead of like ice, which you have to suck on," Taylor said. "There's more flavor and it's definitely sweeter."

So this weekend I completed my current read. I finally finished William Golding's "Lord of the Flies." Like most high school 9th graders, or Junior High Schoolers depending on where you went to school, I read "Lord of the Flies." However, I have decided to re-visit some of these books. I think I understand more about human nature now that I'm old and rotting away with each passing moment. The book is amazingly provocotive. Golding's book is one of the few books in which I felt sick by the end of the book due to the realization of its truthfullness. Although a ficticious narrative, the book is by no means immaginary. As time passes throughout the book, dissention, anarchy, and the balance of power incite many of the island captive children to metamorphose into creatures of their passions and carnal desires. Jack Merridew, the leading dissenter organizes a group of "Hunters," intent on following the rules of the jungle, "eat or be eaten," "kill or be killed," etc. Ralph, on the other hand, seeks rule of law and order in a collective effort to be civilized and eventually rescued through team-work. The dissention creates a nasty division among the children. Jack recruits many of Ralphs entrouage and creates little servants of evil. Rodger, Jack's righ-hand-man executes those who dare fight the law of the jungle. Graphic images of the Rodger's pole sharpened at both ends," -the tool designed to display Ralphs head are quite terrifying. Eventually, when it seems as though Ralph will follow the other boys who were executed, the boys are rescued - not only from the island, but from the dangerous reality of Jungle Law.

I give this book a good review.

Miller

Peace

No Stairway!!?? Denied!!!
SCHHHHHHHHWING!
Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and was a girl bunny?

Embarrassing Crushes

So my friend Rammy and I play this game called "Embarrassing Crushes." The goal of the game is to mortify the other person with your most embarrassing celebrity crush. During the course of the game we have realized that we have a number in common. There are two however that have resulted in a good hour's worth of taunting.

Via's Crush

Rammy's Crush

He Could Pass for Albino

So my nephew Hoshie is proof that people can be so pale that they can look like that clear glass man that allows you to see the inner organs. We could blame it on a sun allergy, but the truth is that the outdoors aren't wired for Mario Kart. Nature is no match for the awesome power of seizure inducing 3-D graphics.

This is another movie review. Lately it has been all i've done. One of the most recent films I watched was, "Goodnight and Good Luck," starring George Clooney. The film documents the valiant stand of News Reporter, Edward Murrow. The film depicts the tragic consequences of taking a stand against the "immoral and unethical fibers of society." Murrow, eventually loses his Prime-time news position. However, in the end it is Television who loses, the public who loses, and America who loses. The film contained amazing lighting techniques, which conveyed great emotion.

I give this film a good rating.

Machiavelli

Peace

So last night I watched Jarhead. I was quite dissapointed. Although I'm sure the experiences and events in the lives of each Marine are similar, I found the movie to be earily similar to Buzz Henderson's, "Spare Parts," and also a modern carbon copy of Full Metal Jacket. I did not find the movie original, or even captivating. I couldn't decide if the movie should be called "Jarhead" or "Cheating Partners." So-I give this film a poor rating-2 stars.

Machiavelli-
peace ya'll

p.s. The first pic is for Via