Swapping Spit

I remember the first time I realized that kissing could involve more than the very PG pressing of CLOSED lips. I have my neighbor to thank for that (it is not what you are thinking). My mother was always very mindful of what movies my siblings and I were allowed to watch. They were G or PG, absolutely NOTHING else. Fortunately for us my mother was gone a lot and left my older brother in charge. As the designated caregiver my brother was always a little too busy running around with his friends finding new and unusual places to crap instead of being mindful of what we were watching. My sister and I took advantage of the lax supervision and invited our neighbor over to watch movies – HER MOVIES. Our neighbor, having cool parents, had access to the best PG-13 movies available. One fateful afternoon the movie she brought over happened to be “Dirty Dancing.” I LOVED Patrick Swayze with his fantastic mullet, kick-butt dance moves and lines that would move me to tears – “nobody puts baby in a corner." Damn right Patrick you give that Law & Order guy a piece of your mind and after that – do a sexy dance for me. It was exposure to that movie that had me spending hour after hour passionately open mouth kissing i.e. breathing Fruit Loop breath on my pillow in an attempt to duplicate Patrick and Jennifer’s kissing scenes. It took me a good two years before I realized that there was actually tongue involved and then I felt really stupid and really relieved that in those two years I didn’t try breathing heavily on someone (that’s strictly for phone use only). When I did swap spit with my first beau I remember wondering why it wasn’t as romantic as the movies made it out to be and why my face felt like it had just been smacked with a really wet rag.