So last weekend I discovered a whole new form of transportation...."WaterHitchin"

So im stuck on the shore of this enormous lake called Red Fish lake up in the Sawtooths and I'm tired as hell and the last thing I want to do is lug my backpack and my fat arse to the trail head to go home, Soooooo, I notice lots of boats hanging around the shore with their passengers swimming around...I take the opportunity to ask one of the drivers for a lift and sure enough...I was picked up immediatly. I had to work for my passage, however. For the 15 minute ride back to the trailhead, I had to man the orange flag (the symbol that a man is in the water)..

I had a great time WaterHitchin and just know that I INVENTED IT!!!!!!!

Miller

Recognition

"Didn't I just see you walking down the street?"

"Was I scratching my butt?"

"No"

"Then it wasn't me."

Squidgy is in the house!
So there is an out of town visitor at the Ferrata house. Which is the reason I have not been posting lately, that and extreme laziness. Anyway, she takes after her Aunt Via in many ways - she loves carbs, said carbs go straight to her thighs, television puts her in a trance, she tends to drool and lint gathers in her armpits. It's like I have my own Mini-Me.

"You complete me!"

"You've sinned away your day of grace ... BIMBO"

So I went and saw Nacho Libre this weekend and it was funny. Not as funny at Napoleon Dynamite (is it wrong that I can completely relate to him?) but still funny. You should stay through the credits because Jack Black sings a really funny song, something about love and a horse. I can't remember the words because my brain has been filled with the wondrousness of AFI for the past week. Anyhoo if you don't decide to check it out in theaters you can always enjoy it in your quarters, with some toast.

NACHOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo










So Nacho Libre is in theaters this Friday and I am EXTREMELY excited! I haven't been this excited since I discovered that Jeff Goldblum was watching me poop!

Would embracing my inner tree-hugger mean I could never again shave my pits?

So one of my friends recently gave me his old The Whole Earth Catalog. He knows that I love all things old and free, tack onto that being bound in book form and I'm like Hoshie first discovering the joys of electronic friends. I started to look through the catalog page by page, marveling at all the information available for those who enjoy compost toilets and Silent Running when I came across an ad for a hot tub that included a picture of a topless woman with extremely hairy armpits. I love tubbin' as much as the next person, I just wouldn't feel that comfortable taking a soak topless with Sam Donaldson's toupee under each arm. I know - I'm such a hairless prude.

So I havent posted anything for a while, to this I say, I'm sorry. I want to recount a funny story which occured at the local Macey's supermarket. So the other night I make a light jaunt to the store for some necessities and other food items. I am a huge glutton for Macey's doughnuts because they are always fresh and soft and ohhhhhhhh soooooooooo GOOEY! Stating that, naturally one or two never quenches the desire, so i got 5! Anyways, i put them in the translucent bags (designed to deter the ubiquitous "false doughnut quantity claimers"). So at the check-out, the girl grabs my translucent bag and asks me how many doughnuts were in the bag. I shrugged in disbelief, yet she remained motionless, and glossy-eyed...awaiting my count. Finally, in annoyance, she looked down at the bag and actually counted the bloody doughnuts herself. Way to go Macey's girl. Hooked on Math sure the hell worked for her! Seeing the doughnuts served as math manipulatives, her task of counting the endless doughnuts was successful.

WAY TO GO MACEYS IN ALWAYS HIRING THE MOST APT AND PROFESSIONAL CHECK GIRLS!!!

Separated at Birth






















So I see a resemblance. Looks like Jade comes from pure evil - pure, delusional evil.

NOT MORE CLOTHES!

So this weekend we celebrated my nephew Hoshie's sixth birthday and I was confronted with the daunting task of trying to find a gift for him. My other nephews love legos, action figures and the occasional sequined bag - not Hoshie. His gift must require a power source and lead to carpal tunnel. Video games are the only thing he will play. On the occasions when he is banned from video games, you can find him running around at a frantic pace, stabbing and slashing the air with a stick as if the air were to blame for him being torn from his electronic crack. I refuse to feed his video game addiction and so for his birthday I bought him clothes (a stack of kindling while enjoyable to Hoshie would have made me look cheap). When it came time to open my gift, he ripped through the tissue paper, grabbed the clothes and then promptly threw them on the ground with a whine about how clothes are the worst gift ever. I thought deodorant was the worst gift ever, but I stand corrected. I think as a result of my horrible gift, that I have scarred him for life. I can see the adult Hoshie now, sitting in a permanent groove on his sofa shouting, "CLOTHES, WHO WANTS CLOTHES FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY!" After which he bends down and sniffs Warioworld up his nose.

May 16, 2006 9:39 am US/Mountain

Provo Law Prohibits Snow Cone Sales Until June 1
Temperatures are in the mid-80s, but don't look for a refreshing shave-ice treat in Provo until next month.

The city prohibits its sale before June 1.

Taylor Headman, 14, hoped to open her shave-ice stand early this year for extra money but then discovered the ordinance.

"It's kind of a dumb law, I think," said Taylor, who wanted to open a stand in time to raise money for an upcoming class trip.

Her father, Justin, a Provo firefighter, and others called this spring to complain about the ordinance.

Mayor Lewis Billings told the council about the issue at a recent meeting.

"I thought it was stupid," Billing said. "Why do we care if they sell (shave ice) before June 1?"

Councilwoman Cindy Clark, who with other city officials did not know why June 1 was made the start of the shave-ice season, said, "I think by next year we need to change that law."

Normal procedure would start with a hearing of the Planning Commission, which would then recommend an amendment to the City Council.

The mayor doesn't want to wait that long.

"Since we feel like there is pending legislation on shaved ice, we're not going to enforce the ordinance," Billings said.

Hawaii is the birthplace of shave ice, often incorrectly called "shaved ice" and sometimes mistaken for snow cones.

A snow cone is made of ice ground into chunks that don't hold the syrup, which pools in the bottom of the paper cone, the shave-ice aficionados say. Shave ice is shaved off a big block into a powder or small flakes that is easier to eat and absorbs the syrup, they say.

"It's like snow, so you can eat it instead of like ice, which you have to suck on," Taylor said. "There's more flavor and it's definitely sweeter."

So this weekend I completed my current read. I finally finished William Golding's "Lord of the Flies." Like most high school 9th graders, or Junior High Schoolers depending on where you went to school, I read "Lord of the Flies." However, I have decided to re-visit some of these books. I think I understand more about human nature now that I'm old and rotting away with each passing moment. The book is amazingly provocotive. Golding's book is one of the few books in which I felt sick by the end of the book due to the realization of its truthfullness. Although a ficticious narrative, the book is by no means immaginary. As time passes throughout the book, dissention, anarchy, and the balance of power incite many of the island captive children to metamorphose into creatures of their passions and carnal desires. Jack Merridew, the leading dissenter organizes a group of "Hunters," intent on following the rules of the jungle, "eat or be eaten," "kill or be killed," etc. Ralph, on the other hand, seeks rule of law and order in a collective effort to be civilized and eventually rescued through team-work. The dissention creates a nasty division among the children. Jack recruits many of Ralphs entrouage and creates little servants of evil. Rodger, Jack's righ-hand-man executes those who dare fight the law of the jungle. Graphic images of the Rodger's pole sharpened at both ends," -the tool designed to display Ralphs head are quite terrifying. Eventually, when it seems as though Ralph will follow the other boys who were executed, the boys are rescued - not only from the island, but from the dangerous reality of Jungle Law.

I give this book a good review.

Miller

Peace

No Stairway!!?? Denied!!!
SCHHHHHHHHWING!
Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and was a girl bunny?

Embarrassing Crushes

So my friend Rammy and I play this game called "Embarrassing Crushes." The goal of the game is to mortify the other person with your most embarrassing celebrity crush. During the course of the game we have realized that we have a number in common. There are two however that have resulted in a good hour's worth of taunting.

Via's Crush

Rammy's Crush

He Could Pass for Albino

So my nephew Hoshie is proof that people can be so pale that they can look like that clear glass man that allows you to see the inner organs. We could blame it on a sun allergy, but the truth is that the outdoors aren't wired for Mario Kart. Nature is no match for the awesome power of seizure inducing 3-D graphics.

This is another movie review. Lately it has been all i've done. One of the most recent films I watched was, "Goodnight and Good Luck," starring George Clooney. The film documents the valiant stand of News Reporter, Edward Murrow. The film depicts the tragic consequences of taking a stand against the "immoral and unethical fibers of society." Murrow, eventually loses his Prime-time news position. However, in the end it is Television who loses, the public who loses, and America who loses. The film contained amazing lighting techniques, which conveyed great emotion.

I give this film a good rating.

Machiavelli

Peace

So last night I watched Jarhead. I was quite dissapointed. Although I'm sure the experiences and events in the lives of each Marine are similar, I found the movie to be earily similar to Buzz Henderson's, "Spare Parts," and also a modern carbon copy of Full Metal Jacket. I did not find the movie original, or even captivating. I couldn't decide if the movie should be called "Jarhead" or "Cheating Partners." So-I give this film a poor rating-2 stars.

Machiavelli-
peace ya'll

p.s. The first pic is for Via

Hello, its me, Miller. Contrary to popular belief, I am not AWOL, nor missing, nor dead. What am I thinking? Contrary to popular belief!!! hahahah. What I should say is, contrary to our consitent 5 people reading base, I am still alive and chirping. Via is completely right. I am a poo face. I didnt show up to print her negs. I sorry, Via.
I'm currently experiencing a creative mental block. On the bright side, like a dam, the block will one day break and I'll have a creative explosion...so everyone..watch out. I heard a very interesting question on the radio today...So..without further adeu, I pass the question on to you..

Q: Why is evaporated milk a liquid?

Not too shabby of a question. Sure to incite even the most inpenetrable minds!!

Miller-
Peace

Silent Gory Gory Hill

So I went to see "Silent Hill" yesterday with my friend Rammy and my stepmom. My stepmom and I love scary movies and we always go see them together, unless any of our wonderful friends like Rammy want to come along. However, going with other people means that I have to endure a whole lotta teasing. The thing is, I am the easiest person in the world to scare. The smallest things freak me out - the back of the tupperware cupboard, handlebar mustaches, Ron Popeil - imagine running into him in a dark alley. The threat of GLH formula 9 alone makes me almost pee my pants. In order to be able to watch scary movies and then sleep at night, I cover my eyes during the scary parts or if I am at home alone I fast forward through them (nothing is scary at super fast speeds, except Richard Simmons). So we go to Silent Hill. I am all excited, ready to be scared by the sound of scary things. Turns out I didn't have to cover my eyes a bunch of times due to fear, just twice because I have a sensitive stomach. By the end of the movie I was utterly confused and tad queasy, but not scared.

Getting to Know You

So my brother sent me one of those getting to know you emails. The ones where you answer random, innocuous questions and then email them back to the source and however many friends that you want knowing the last time you cried. I normally relish these emails because they give me a chance to completely B.S., however this time I was out B.S.ed by my brother. His answers were really funny and I knew that mine would look like a sad attempt to emulate him - my funnier, better looking brother. As a matter of principle I could not send actual answers. So I came up with this (read only the answers, it makes more sense):

1. FIRST NAME? ever notice how only cats are named Sassy
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? why should only cats be named that
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? is it because cats can sleep whenever they want
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I'm sleepy
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? my office smells like cheese
6. KIDS? I want a doughnut
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? with cheese on it
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? and Vegemite
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? and a space heater
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? from the D.I.
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? why must everything you buy at the D.I. smell like the D.I.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? like dust and b.o.
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM! OFF? I once found a dresser there that did not smell like D.I.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? it smelled like poop
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? old diaper poop
16. SHOE SIZE? I bought it anyway
17. RED OR PINK? poop smell gets a bad rap
18. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOUR SELF? feta cheese smells much worse
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my office smells like cheese
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? not feta cheese
21. WHAT PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? mozzarella
22. LAST THING YOU ATE? with a trace of pickles
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? and pimento loaf
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I prefer pumpkin bread
25. FAVORITE SMELL? with chocolate chips
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? and peppercorns
27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? and salt sprinkled lightly on the top
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? like hard specks of dandruff
29. FAVORITE DRINK? on the head of a bald man using self-tanning cream
30. FAVORITE SPORT? orange is the new tan
31. EYE COLOR? irrelevant is the new relevant
32. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? toenails are the new fingernails
33. FAVORITE FOOD? I once saw toenails as thick as hockey pucks
34. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? same color too
35. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? they made me dry heave
36. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? and have nightmares
37. SUMMER OR WINTER? about Hobbits
38. HUGS OR KISSES? with hockey puck toenails
39. FAVORITE DESSERT? Gandalf insists on their getting manicures
40. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? before returning the ring of power
41. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? he says that they don't want to end up like Sauron
42. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? his hockey pucks eventually became curling stones
43. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? which smelled like feta
44. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? the stench killed off most of the Ents
45. FAVORITE SOUNDS? that and the logging industry
46. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? I like those fake logs that light up when you plug them in
47. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? no fire hazard
48. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? unless the cord has a short
49. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? then you're screwed

Don't ask to read his. I deleted it.

Preemptive Strike

So Miller is back and I feel bad for calling him a poop because he has a legitimate excuse for being gone (it doesn't involve wookies or ewoks). I have the habit of doing what I call "preemptive strikes". I picked this phrase up from the government, but when they use it, it means being all imperialistic, when I use it, it means I've done something stupid. Hum, actually they both sound like the same meaning to me. My point is I took over the blog when Miller disappeared and now that he is back he is welcome to once again grace The Black Project with his gorgeous photos and sparkling wit. Sorry Miller, I am a giant PPPPPPOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP!